Ephesians 5:33 calls husbands to love their wives as they love themselves, and it calls wives to respect their husbands. Paul wrote this as the closing summary of a longer passage on how believers should live together, and he addressed it to the members of the church in Ephesus, with husbands and wives named directly.
Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:33 (WEB)
What Ephesians 5:33 Means
The verse begins with “Nevertheless,” which signals a return to the main point after Paul’s long comparison between marriage and Christ’s love for the church. Husbands are told to “love his own wife even as himself.” The standard is high: the love a person naturally has for his own body and wellbeing becomes the model for how he treats his wife. It is a command to put her needs on equal footing with his own, not a sentimental feeling he must manufacture.
The second half speaks to the wife, who is asked to “respect her husband.” The Greek word here carries the sense of reverence, deference and a settled regard for his role. Paul does not say a wife must agree with everything her husband does or stay silent when she disagrees. The verse describes an attitude of honor that shapes how she speaks and acts toward him.
What the verse does not promise is that love and respect will always be returned in equal measure or that a marriage will be free of conflict. It describes what each spouse is responsible for, and leaves the response of the other person to God.
The Context of Ephesians 5:33
Ephesians is traditionally attributed to Paul, who wrote it while imprisoned, and it was sent to believers in and around Ephesus. The letter moves from teaching about the church and God’s grace in its first three chapters to practical instructions for daily life in chapters four through six. Verse 33 closes a passage in which Paul says that wives should submit to their husbands and husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church.
Read against verses 30 through 32, the command is shaped by the picture of believers as members of Christ’s body and by the quotation from Genesis about two becoming one flesh. Paul says this mystery points to Christ and the church. That frame means the love a husband shows is meant to reflect Christ’s sacrifice, and the respect a wife shows is set within a relationship already bound together in unity.
Key Phrases in Ephesians 5:33
1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud…
(WEB)
Paul describes love as patient and kind, which gives concrete shape to the husband’s love that Ephesians 5:33 asks him to show his wife in daily life.
1 Peter 3:7
You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered.
(WEB)
Peter also speaks to husbands, asking them to live with their wives in understanding and to honor them, which reinforces the call to care for a wife as a full partner.
A Short Prayer From Ephesians 5:33
Lord, you have shown us love in its fullest form in Christ, and you ask us to reflect that love in our marriages. Help husbands to care for their wives as they care for themselves, with patience, attention and a willingness to put her good first. Help wives to honor their husbands with respect that is sincere and steady, speaking and acting in a way that builds up the home. Teach both of us to lean on your grace when we fall short, and to grow closer to you and to each other. Amen.
