If you are about to see your family, whether it is a holiday dinner, a reunion, or a long-planned visit, this page gives you a prayer to pray beforehand. Pray it in the car, at the sink, or in the hallway before the doorbell rings. You can read it aloud exactly as written, or use it as a starting point and say the words that are on your heart.
Prayers Before a Family Gathering
Lord, you know what this day holds. You know the old tensions, the questions people will ask about jobs and marriages and money, and the comments that may sting. You know the empty chair some of us still notice, and the relative who is struggling with their health or their grief. Before we walk in, I ask you to go ahead of us and make the room ready for love.
Give me a softer heart than I may feel right now. Help me listen more than I speak, and let me be slow to take offense. If someone pushes an old wound, keep my tongue steady and my hands open. Show me where I have been part of the problem, and give me the courage to say so when it is good to say so. Let the children run freely, let the older ones rest, and let no one leave feeling small.
Above all, let your peace settle over this house and this table. Remind us that we are family because you have brought us together, not because we always get along. Hold each person here in your care, the ones who are glad to see us and the ones who are hard to be around. Amen.
A Shorter Version to Pray in a Moment
Father, I am nervous about today. Steady me. Help me be kind, be patient, and be honest without being harsh. Quiet the voice that wants to defend myself, and fill me with your peace for every person I will see. Let this gathering point us back to each other and to you. Amen.
Scriptures to Pray Alongside
Psalm 133:1
See how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to live together in unity!
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Pray this verse by thanking God for the gift of being together, even when togetherness is complicated. Ask him to make unity possible where it has been strained, and to help you see your relatives as people he loves.
Colossians 3:12-13
12 Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.
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Read these verses slowly and ask God to clothe you with compassion, kindness, and patience before you arrive. Name the specific relative who tests you most, and ask him to help you bear with that person in love.
Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.
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Use this verse as a prayer for peace you can actually live out. Ask God to help you do your part, and to give you grace for the moments when others choose conflict, which you cannot control.
Ephesians 4:2-3
2 With all lowliness and humility, with patience, bearing with one another in love; 3 being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
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Pray these words for humility and gentleness at the table. Ask the Spirit to help you keep the bond of peace, even when a conversation starts to drift toward an old argument.
Philippians 4:6-7
6 In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.
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When your stomach is tight with worry about the day, bring that worry to God in prayer and thanksgiving. Ask him to guard your heart and mind with a peace that does not depend on how the gathering goes.
How to Pray This Prayer
Choose a quiet moment in the hour before you leave, such as in the car in the driveway or while you are getting dressed. Breathing slowly and holding something in your hands, like a cup of tea, a car key, or a dish you are bringing, can help you settle your body while you pray. Read the prayer once through silently, then aloud if you can.
If you are praying with a spouse, a friend, or an adult child who is coming with you, invite them to pray a sentence or two of their own. Many families find it helps to pray together briefly before the first hug. Whoever is hosting may also welcome this prayer, so you could pray it for the house and the people in it before the guests arrive.
A Blessing to Close
May the Lord go before every person who walks through this door, and may his peace rest on each heart at the table. May he give patience to those who are weary, gentleness to those who are hurting, and joy to those who have come glad. May the love of God be the thing everyone remembers when the day is over.
