Proverbs 5:17 teaches that a person should keep their deepest love, trust and intimacy within their own marriage and not give them to outsiders. The verse is part of a father’s counsel to his son in the Book of Proverbs, a teaching that wisdom protects the household from the ruin that comes with unfaithfulness.
Let them be for yourself alone, not for strangers with you.
Proverbs 5:17 (WEB)
What Proverbs 5:17 Means
The phrase “Let them be for yourself alone” is a call to exclusivity. The verse uses the image of water from a personal well or cistern, something you dig and keep for your own household. The point is that certain goods are meant to be enjoyed in one place, by one family, rather than shared around the public square.
The second half, “not for strangers with you,” names the danger directly. Strangers here means outsiders, including those who would draw a man into sexual unfaithfulness. The verse does not spell out every rule of conduct, but it trains the reader to guard what is precious rather than spend it carelessly.
What the verse does not do is promise that every temptation will vanish once you read it. It describes a pattern of life and a direction of heart. Faithfulness is practiced in ordinary choices over many years, not secured by a single decision.
The Context of Proverbs 5:17
The Book of Proverbs is a collection of wise sayings, traditionally linked to King Solomon, and it is written as instruction from a parent to a young person preparing to live well in the world. Chapter 5 warns a young man against the seductive woman who promises pleasure but leads to ruin. The audience is young men entering adulthood, and the lessons are meant to shape character as much as behavior.
Verses 15 through 20 form a tender picture of marital love. Just before verse 17, the father urges his son to drink from his own well, and right after it, he calls him to rejoice in the wife of his youth. Read in that setting, verse 17 is not a cold rule against other people but a positive invitation to build a secure, joyful home where love flows freely within a committed bond.
Key Phrases in Proverbs 5:17
Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
(WEB)
This verse honors marriage as something to be held in high regard and keeps the marriage bed pure, linking the same concern for faithfulness that Proverbs 5:17 expresses in a different voice.
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
(WEB)
Jesus here looks beyond outward action to the desires of the heart, showing that guarding one’s affections is part of the same commitment to faithfulness that the proverb calls for.
A Short Prayer From Proverbs 5:17
Lord, you know the places in my heart where I am tempted to give away what belongs only to the people you have given me to love. Help me keep my affections, my trust and my closeness in the right place. Strengthen my marriage and guard my eyes, my words and my time, so that I never invite outsiders into what is meant for my own home. Give me joy in the blessings you have already placed before me. Amen.
