Ephesians 5 calls believers to imitate God in love, to walk as children of light, to be filled with the Spirit, and to order their households under Christ. These questions are written for a small group, a Sunday class, or personal study. Each one points to a specific verse, and each comes with a leader’s note you can use or adapt.
Ephesians 5 at a Glance
Paul opens with a call to imitate God as beloved children and to walk in love, pointing to Christ’s self-giving as the model. He then turns to the contrast between darkness and light, warning against sexual immorality, greed, and empty talk while urging thanksgiving in their place. The chapter moves on to being filled with the Spirit, expressed in worship and mutual submission.
The final section applies that submission to marriage, using the relationship between Christ and the church as the pattern for husbands and wives. Keep the whole arc in view as you lead, because the household instructions grow out of the call to love and to live as light.
Observation Questions
Use these questions at the start of the session to get everyone reading the text closely before anyone interprets it. Ask the group to find the answers in the passage itself, and let people point to verses before offering opinions.
Q: In verses 1-2, what two things does Paul tell us to do, and what example does he give?
1 Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 Walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling fragrance.
Ephesians 5:1-2 (WEB)
Paul tells believers to be imitators of God and to walk in love. The example he names is Christ, who gave himself up as an offering to God. Ask the group to notice that the command is grounded in a finished act, so love is shaped by what Christ has already done for us rather than by a feeling we must generate.
Q: In verses 3-4, what kinds of speech and behavior does Paul say should not even be mentioned among believers?
3 But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints; 4 nor filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not appropriate; but rather giving of thanks.
Ephesians 5:3-4 (WEB)
He lists sexual immorality, all uncleanness, covetousness, filthiness, foolish talking, and jesting. Instead he calls for thanksgiving. Discuss with the group why Paul pairs careless speech with serious sin, and what it looks like in ordinary conversation for thanks to take the place of crude or empty words.
Q: In verse 8, how does Paul describe the change in his readers, and what does he tell them to do with it?
For you were once darkness, but are now light in the Lord. Walk as children of light…
Ephesians 5:8 (WEB)
Paul says they were once darkness but are now light in the Lord, and so they must walk as children of light. The contrast is one of identity before action. Invite the group to name what it means that their status has changed, and then what daily walking should look like in response.
Q: In verses 18-20, what are believers commanded to be filled with, and what outward signs does Paul name?
18 Don’t be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; singing, and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20 giving thanks always concerning all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to God, even the Father…
Ephesians 5:18-20 (WEB)
They are to be filled with the Spirit rather than drunk with wine. Their filling shows up in speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, in singing to the Lord, and in giving thanks always. Ask the group which of these practices is most natural for them and which one they tend to neglect.
Interpretation Questions
These questions ask what the text means before turning to life application. Let the group disagree a little, but keep returning to the words Paul actually uses. Write down the main points on a board so the discussion stays anchored.
Q: In verses 5-6, why does Paul say that certain sins keep people out of God’s kingdom, and what does he warn about deception?
5 Know this for sure, that no sexually immoral person, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words. For because of these things, the wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience.
Ephesians 5:5-6 (WEB)
Paul says that sexually immoral, unclean, and covetous people, including idolaters, have no inheritance in the kingdom. He warns that empty words may deceive believers into thinking such conduct is harmless. Discuss how the phrase “empty words” could describe rationalizations people accept today, and how Paul connects sin with God’s wrath on the disobedient.
Q: In verses 14-16, what does the quotation about waking from sleep suggest about the believer’s condition, and what does Paul mean by redeeming the time?
14 Therefore he says, “Awake, you who sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” 15 Therefore watch carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise; 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Ephesians 5:14-16 (WEB)
The call to awake and arise points to a spiritual sleep that Christ is able to end. Paul then urges careful walking and wise use of time, because the days are evil. Ask the group what “redeeming the time” suggests about how opportunities are used, and whether the metaphor of sleep and light helps them picture their own spiritual state.
Q: In verse 21, what does Paul mean by subjecting yourselves to one another, and how does the phrase “in the fear of Christ” shape that call?
Subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ.
Ephesians 5:21 (WEB)
This verse introduces the household instructions that follow, and it sets mutual submission as the general principle for all believers. The phrase “fear of Christ” points to reverence for the Lord, not terror. Talk through how this reverence changes the way people treat one another, and why Paul frames submission as something done out of respect for Christ.
Q: In verses 25-27, what does Christ do for the church, and why does Paul describe his purpose in such detail?
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it; 26 that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, 27 that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without defect.
Ephesians 5:25-27 (WEB)
Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it, so that he might sanctify it, cleansing it by the washing of water with the word. His aim is to present the church to himself glorious, without spot or wrinkle, and holy. Ask the group to notice that the purpose is both cleansing and presentation, and to consider how this pattern of sacrificial love is meant to guide husbands.
Application Questions
Move to these questions once the group has a clear sense of the text. Encourage honest, specific answers, and invite people to share only what they feel comfortable sharing. Close each answer by naming one concrete step.
Q: Where in your daily life does it feel hardest to walk in love the way Christ loved us, and what would one small act of self-giving look like this week?
Walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling fragrance.
Ephesians 5:2 (WEB)
Ask people to name a specific relationship or setting, such as a difficult coworker or a demanding family member. Then guide them toward a practical, achievable step, like offering a kind word, serving quietly, or forgiving a small offense. The goal is to connect the call to imitate Christ with something concrete they can do before the next meeting.
Q: Which kinds of talk or entertainment do you find most tempting to enjoy despite Paul’s warning about filthiness and foolish jesting, and how could you replace them with thanksgiving?
Nor filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not appropriate; but rather giving of thanks.
Ephesians 5:4 (WEB)
Be gentle here, since many people will recognize their own habits in the list. Encourage the group to name particular kinds of conversation or media, and then to consider what a thankful alternative might be, such as sharing a blessing at dinner or changing the subject toward God’s goodness. Remind the group that the aim is freedom, not guilt.
Q: What practices help you be filled with the Spirit in worship and daily speech, and which of them could you practice more regularly?
Speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; singing, and making melody in your heart to the Lord…
Ephesians 5:19 (WEB)
Ask people to describe what singing, prayer, or speaking to one another in song has meant for them. Then ask which practice they could add or strengthen, such as singing a hymn during the week or encouraging a friend with a psalm. This question helps the group see that being filled with the Spirit has specific, repeatable expressions.
Q: If your household includes a spouse, children, or parents, how could you show mutual submission and love in one relationship this month?
Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:33 (WEB)
Invite people to think about one relationship where they could serve or respect another person more visibly. Remind the group that Paul’s instruction applies to everyone, whether or not they are married, and that the verse calls each person to love and respect within their own role. End by asking for one specific action to take this month.
Key Verses to Read Aloud
Ephesians 5:8-10
8 For you were once darkness, but are now light in the Lord. Walk as children of light, 9 for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth, 10 proving what is well pleasing to the Lord.
(WEB)
This passage names the change from darkness to light and describes the fruit of the Spirit. Reading it aloud helps the group hear the identity Paul gives and the way it shapes what pleases the Lord.
Ephesians 5:31-32
31 “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and of the assembly.
(WEB)
Read this to connect the marriage instructions with Paul’s view of the mystery of Christ and the church. It helps the group see that the household teaching points beyond the home to the larger story of God’s people.
Memory Verse for Ephesians 5
A Closing Prayer for the Group
Father, we thank you that you have called us beloved children and given us Christ as our pattern of love. Teach us to walk in that love in our homes, our workplaces, and our conversations. Turn our speech away from empty words and toward thanksgiving, and fill us with your Spirit so that our songs and our lives point to you. Help husbands and wives to honor one another in the fear of Christ, and help us all to serve one another with the same self-giving love Jesus showed us. Make us children of light, walking in what pleases you. Amen.
